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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Tales From The Sh!t Keeper : PART DEUX

If you have not yet read my first Entry in the "Tales from the Sh!t Keeper" saga please do by following this link --->  Tales from the Sh!t Keeper

Public Bathrooms

If you do need to shit away from home most times your going to be using Public Toilets. Some places are nice and they give you those paper ass gaskets to cover the seat so you don't catch Herps or Crabs or what ever it is theses days that the kids are passing around like pokemon cards, But then there are other places that are just plain NASTY.  There are so many things about public shitters that get under feet.

I hate when you go to a line up of urinals to drain the lizard and someone comes and pisses right beside you, I always think is this guy a Retard don't he know there are rules for pissing next to another guy at a urinal. You will know your in a NASTY public toilet when your shoes stick to the floor when you walk away from the urinal.

Now to the shitting, most mens rooms have two or more toilets you can use, One is always a handicap. So most times like I said if your shitty away from your place of residents it's an emergency situation. You go open the door to the stall, look at the seat to make sure nothing was left beside by the visitor before you and sit on the crapper. As you do your business your most likely reading the most Dirty Raciest Shit that people have written on the walls and if you have a pen your writing something to top the last guy. Who the Fuck goes for a shit with a pen in the first place? Anyway most times people are coming in and out and if your a smelly fucker there smelling you. 

There are a few problems that may happen to you while your in there. The cracks in the Stall is so wide that you can see out and if people are looking they can see you cupping your balls. Also Someone may try to come in the Stall your in and you have to say "Someones in here" while you have a turd halfway out your arse. The worst I think is someone who comes and Goes into the stall right beside you and starts shitting and farting there ass off. Gross Dude, courtesy flush!. So the limber has been dropped of at the lumber yard and you taking care of the aftermath. You reach over to snag some Shit Tickets and there is non, What do you do?  I have yet to deal with this situation so I can't comment on that as of yet but Most time when your taking care of your business the toilet paper is ether to thin that you have to roll it 100 times just to be sure there is no hand to ass contact or the paper only rips off in little squares which is almost impossible to wipe your ass with.

If you guys got a kick out of this or my other SH!T Tales let me know and I'm sure I can come up with a few more.


  1. Nice one!! Only in emergencies. My mate alweays carries a small pack of wet wipes in his wallet...just in-case.

  2. ROFL!! awesome! check out my old post on Public Bathrooms: